The Second Part of Our Wedding Trilogy – The Pingtung Banquet

As we mentioned in our previous Tokyo post there was an unexpected request for us to return to Taiwan.  The reason was so that my parents could celebrate their daughter’s marriage with their friends and relatives.  There are a lot of wedding traditions in Taiwan, and if we were to have done everything properly like my brother and sister in law did we would have had an engagement banquet first, a wedding banquet next, followed by the post-wedding banquet last.  Since we were already married in Bhutan, this was to be a less formal post-wedding banquet for my side of the family to organize.  Eug and I were happy to oblige.  It worked out even better when Eug’s parents, aunt, and uncle were able to fly in for the celebration as well.  And kudos to my parents for pulling together a 32 table lunch banquet in merely 9 days time.  All Eug and I had to do was show up and look pretty.

My dad currently lives in Pingtung, a city in the south of Taiwan about a 40 min drive from Kaohsiung (the second largest city in Taiwan).  My family used to live in Taipei before moving to Vancouver, but my dad decided to move to Pingtung to live with my grandparents after moving back to Taiwan.  Taipei to Pingtung is about a 5 hour drive, but thanks to Taiwan’s new High Speed Rail you can easily get to Kaohsiung in less than 2 hours.  I went down to Pingtung with my mom the day before the banquet to get a final fitting of my dresses.  Eug borrowed a suit from our friend Aven in Taipei so he didn’t need to organize his outfits like I did.   So instead he stayed in Taipei to pick up his parents and relatives from the airport the night before and he took them down to Pingtung on the bullet train the morning before the luncheon, all arranged by my super organized sister in law.  While they were enjoying their train ride, my mom and I had our makeup done in the bridal shop next to our Pingtung house.  Eug’s mom and aunt arrived in time to get some makeup done as well.  Even Eug got his hair styled by the makeup artist!  It was blown dry and hair-sprayed up to the max.  It kind of looked like Eug ran through a snow storm and his hair stayed frozen.  I liked it though, and so did our friends who came from Taipei and Kaohsiung for the luncheon.  The banquet took place on the 2^nd floor of a Japanese restaurant.  My dad carefully decorated the entrance with our Bhutan wedding pictures and our Chinese names hung above the guest signing table and the stage.  Once we got there, Eug and I waited in the Bride’s changing room for the cue to walk out and make our first appearance.  It was simple enough as all we had to do was follow a violinist and slowly walk to the head table.  Then a series of speeches went on in Taiwanese (similar to a dialect spoken in the province of Fukien) by some VIP guests such as a senator, the mayor, etc. while tons of food was being served.  It was a 13 course lunch held within 2 hours.  Then my parents, Eug’s parents, Eug and I were asked to go up on the stage so the MC could introduce us to all 320 guests.  That was again easy as we just stood there and smiled.  After the parents returned to the head table, Eug and I remained on stage.  What came next will probably traumatize Eug for the rest of his life.  The MC spoke Taiwanese to Eug and asked if he understood.  Eug said no so the MC said he’d speak Mandarin instead.  He was nice enough to revert to Mandarin for about one sentence before continuing in Taiwanese all over again as he held the mic up to Eug after asking a question.  Eug had no idea what the MC wanted him to say so he awkwardly froze.  As I understand Taiwanese I knew the MC was asking Eug to declare his ‘love vows’ but I wasn’t sure what that entailed, and I also knew Eug wouldn’t be able to do what was asked as he had no idea what was going on, so I grabbed the mic and thanked everyone for coming and expressed how nice it was to end our one year trip in Taiwan.  Finally the MC let us go and when we went back to our table Eug’s parents said they were surprised to see their son speechless for the first time in their lives.  Poor Eug.

At the end of the banquet, Eug and I stood by the exit to say goodbye to the guests as we each held a tray of goodies for them to bring home.  My tray had a whole bunch of candies while Eug’s tray had a whole bunch of cigarettes.  Strange right?  Somehow it’s another tradition, though I guess it’s better than the popular-in-the-south-of Taiwan-but-disgusting betel nut which was once commonly the parting gift given by the groom.  After lunch we went back home to do a quick and casual tea ceremony where I carried tea in a tray and served family members.  My grandparents were first, followed Eug’s parents, Eug’s aunt and uncle, my parents, uncles, etc. as they handed me red envelopes full of money in return.  It was better than Chinese New Year because we got some pretty heavy red envelopes!  Then we took some pictures and that concluded the day.  Even though we didn’t need to do much planning or organizing, it was a tiring day for all of us.  It was a successful banquet though, as all our guests were stuffed and happy, and some liked getting free cigarettes.  And of course it’s not Taiwan if there’s no politics involved.  My dad received at least 50 something Chinese calligraphy scrolls addressed to Eug and I (in our Chinese names of course) with Chinese sayings to bless our marriage.  One was from the Presidential Office Secretary General, one was from a senator, and a lot of government involved officials signed with their names along with their political party.  What was the most amazing was that no scroll sayings were repeated, it was as if they all knew what sayings were used already before they sent theirs.   

Truth be told, this banquet in Pingtung was initiated by my parents.  Eug and I agreed to it on such short notice mainly because it was easier for us to do it while we were in Asia already.  However, after seeing how happy my parents were when organizing the banquet and hanging out with all their guests, I was genuinely thankful for everything they did for this 320 person event to happen.  We probably only knew 5 tables at the most but it was nice to see some relatives that I hadn’t seen since childhood, and most importantly it was great to spend time with my parents and to see them interacting with their social circle.  A lot of people helped out with the event including my dad’s office employees, my grandpa’s old partner’s family, my dad’s Rotary Club friends, his Developer Association friends, and many countless others.  That is probably one of the ‘village’ traditions that doesn’t happen often in big cities these days.  Even though we didn’t know the guests, they knew of us from my parents or relatives.  So to them, they were privileged to be able to help out.  Most importantly, I was very grateful that Eug’s parents and aunt and uncle came all the way from Calgary, Vancouver and HK to Pingtung to be a part of the festivities.  It was a long journey for them but it was exciting to have them meet and hang out with my family.  Marriage isn’t just about us but our families as well.  And for a couple of days after the banquet it was fun to show Eug’s family around Taipei, where his parents spent their honeymoon 32 years ago.  Eug’s dad jokingly told my brother Eug was conceived on this island.  It is fate!